Did you know, relationships are an important part of your self-care?

“Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.” — Robert Waldinger

An almost immediate impact of the pandemic last year, of the strict lockdown measures and social distancing rules, was that of isolation and disconnection, and thus higher rates of loneliness too.

I myself was one of the many people who found themselves living alone and feeling quite lonely.

As an introvert myself, I was aware of how deeply I valued my close relationships; yet what I hadn’t really paid attention to until then, was the importance of broader social connection in my life, the value of small-talk or casual conversation too. For example, seeing the same stranger on a morning commute, having a 5-minute conversation with that classmate I didn’t know too well but seemed really nice, smiling at the salesperson who was always at my local store or greeting the others who attended the same yoga class every Sunday. I missed these brief moments of connection that had offered me a sense of comfort and connection, especially at times when I was living away from close friends and family. And I hadn't even realised it.

Research shown in the Harvard Study (a longitudinal study, based on data collected over 80 years) revealed that “the people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.” Their findings indicate that close relationships and staying connected to others are a key determinant of our overall happiness and good health.

So, what does this mean for you?

1. Taking care of your self is important, but so is taking care of your relationships.

For some people, those who naturally are drawn more to the world of people, events or activities, this may appear easier. Thus, for extroverts, it could mean socialising more, being a part of different social circles and clubs, organising frequent meet ups or even just staying more connected to those you're close too.

For some people, this may mean having deeper relationships, with fewer people. For introverts, others like me, who may be shy (sometimes anxious), struggle at a big party, prefer listening than talking, yes, we too rely on close relationships (friends, partners, family).

2. If you feel the need to broaden your social connections, look for spaces where you are likely to meet people similar to you.

3. No matter who you are, your relationships are an essential part of your wellbeing. So do the work; create moments of connection, identify your positive relationships, improve your communication and build long-lasting relationships.

The choice is yours, whether you opt for quality and/or quantity.

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About the Author: Mallika Verma

Mallika Verma is a psychologist, and couples and family therapist. She has previously worked across a range of public and private healthcare settings in India and the UK. She now practices privately in Mumbai and Delhi. Learn more at: www.mallikaverma.com or get in touch with her on: mallikavermatherapy@gmail.com.