The struggle that is, communication.

"One cannot not communicate." Paul Watzlawick

I believe every interaction you have with another person, is a form of communication.

Communication essentially means conveying/receiving/exchanging information, via verbal and non-verbal cues such as talking, listening, writing as well as body language. But when it comes to important conversations, such as with your family, partner or even close friends, any form of communication can become quite tricky, thanks to the added element of: emotions.

So how do emotions influence communication?

1. When you care about someone, you may prioritise or put their feelings above yours. This may lead to a hesitation to voice out loud your own feelings. For example, if I am stressed, I may avoid sharing this with my parents because I know they're already worried about something else, so I don't want them to worry about me too!

2. When you've had one or more poor past experience, for example, a prior situation where you felt misunderstood or unheard, this too could lead to a hesitation in sharing your perspective.

If you are still holding on to feelings of hurt, this may make it difficult to communicate openly.

3. Alternatively, when you've felt unheard for a long time and you finally voice your opinion, letting out your bottled up feelings, all in one go tends to result in an argument or conflict.

4. Different people are made up of different personalities, and different personalities communicate in different styles, as comes naturally to them. For example, extroverts are typically better at talking whereas introverts at listening.

5. The absence of a complete understanding of the 'other type' of person may lead to a disconnect. Generally, this stems from feeling confused and/or misunderstood, and a disconnect tends to make it easier to avoid communicating with the other person altogether.

Do you struggle with communication? How does this impact your relationships?

---

About the Author: Mallika Verma

Mallika Verma is a psychologist, and couples and family therapist. She has previously worked across a range of public and private healthcare settings in India and the UK. She now practices privately in Mumbai and Delhi. Learn more at: www.mallikaverma.com or get in touch with her on: mallikavermatherapy@gmail.com.